For the first part of this blog series, please click here.
AFTER A LONG LONG WAIT. Oh, this is another story of me enduring things in life. Courtships are never easy, right?
Well for me, most had not been easy. I had four previous attempts. I also had some short-lived episodes of huge crushing on someone, but eventually pushed back upon learning they were already in a relationship. The fifth courtship thankfully became fruitful because by the grace of God, my now partner Shine said yes to making us official.
To be fair, the four ladies I actively pursued before Shine had their reasons, and those are all valid. Let me just narrate my stories about the first and fourth.
The first one was in my early high school days, and yeah it might had been just a case of "puppy love." There was active opposition, from her mother primarily. I even got called to the guidance counselor's office as the mother brought the evidence, the Christmas card I gave the girl having my feelings towards her clearly written on it. I got embarrassed by this bigtime, but I never regretted telling her how I felt. For a nerdy me, it was liberating.
Back then, I can't understand why it was a huge deal, while I see my other classmates having their good chances at love and were successful, and it seemed okay to the eyes of the peeple. Well now, I smile and laugh at myself whenever I think about this first shot at "love" (if you can just picture me grinning and biting my lips happily reminiscing this foolishness HAHA). We were indeed too young.
My fourth attempt at courtship had no opposition from both sides. I stated my intentions very formally to both my parents and hers, and they are all fine with this because our parents have known each other for several years. The only question was whether or not she is willing to make us public and official.
I had high hopes for this prospect of finally getting myself out of the NGSB "curse." I was welcomed in her family, including her strict aunties, and dined with them in their home a number of times. Hearing straight from one of her aunts, saying that she approves of me because I'm decent and unproblematic was the first time I genuinely had a confidence boost when it comes to dating and courtship and told myself, "Hey Joe, you actually have a shot. You got this!" My insecurities about my original and financial background were shattered.
Then, the miserable pandemic hit. We live in the same city, but due to government quarantine protocols, I can't pay her visits or go on dates with her (I used to go to their place at least once weekly) and the sparks were slowly becoming not as bright as they used to. We had misunderstandings because of this, and she called it quits.
Two years later, we agreed to see each other to finally talk. She was able to tell me the reason. Knowing my commitment to my family as a breadwinner, she became worried and pressured on my behalf. Her parents and aunties are aging, and she did not want me to carry some more burden had we decided to be together.
So yeah, that was that. All I can do was to appreciate her thoughtfulness and honesty. I quietly forgave her. She was not wrong.
After this, I was beginning to disqualify myself. I thought love will not come easy to me anymore.
But that same year, God gave me a surprise. I would start to get to know the one who can finally bring me love, joy, and hope in the romantic aspect.
Shine is a common friend and it's true, we are a product of "reto" or matchmaking recommendations through friends. I had the honor of being the only guy Shine had ever brought to her home in Angono, Rizal. She told me that for years, she kept a list of criteria of a guy she would be willing to entertain and introduce to her family and friends. It's not the usual TDH: tall, dark, and handsome kind of list; it's more on the intentions and actions, and surprisingly I ticked all those checkboxes.
Likewise, Shine is the only girl I ever brought to my place here in Manila to be introduced to my mother and siblings. I also brought her to my former school to meet my former bosses and colleagues. She's also seen some of my current office mates when she joined our team's summer outing last year.
The biggest difference between most of my previous courtships and with Shine was the length of waiting. It only took two months before I can finally hold Shine's hands when our relationship became official (as we had a "no-touch" rule). Save for the first, the "puppy love" courtship, I spent years of trying and pursuing and all went for naught. For Shine, she really lived up her desire not to be in a long period of courtship, and it was indeed the case. I know most of you were surprised upon learning of our relationship on Facebook. I remember giving out some hints, but because of this short "ligawán" (courtship) stage, many peeple did not see this coming.
Between the first girl I pursued and my girlfriend Shine, there's a fifteen-year period. In those years of waiting, I can see that it was deliberate that God let me go through rejections and pains, because He was molding my character and strengthening my values first before He granted me what I hoped and prayed for: a neat Christian woman who can accept me for who I am. I also have a wishlist for an ideal woman, but that one is on the top. And guess what, the other "minor" criteria were also granted and embodied in the person of Shine. Can't reveal those here but trust me, the boxes are all ticked too =7
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| I planned to abandon celebrating my birthdays. That changed when I found her. |
But seriously, my life became happier and brighter when I met her. This is the result of fifteen years waiting and trusting on God.
ENTERING ANOTHER DIMENSION. This can be the continuation of one section from the first part of this blog post. I graduated with a degree in education, but was "unplaced, misplaced or displaced" into another field that is, again, supposed to be out of my professional league.
I cannot believe I took the guts to leave the school I served for eight years. I always walked for work to school since it is near our home, but taking public transport at nighttime for a brand-new job is an unexplainable level of freedom, both literally and figuratively. That new experience of commuting to work, my heart had plenty of excitement.
For when I got out of teaching had I truly known that there is actually more to see, just like what my close friends earnestly get to tell me.
I did not brace for impact. I embraced it.
The new career gave many flexibilities. Ironic, but work-life balance finally became a thing to me. I can visit Shine and have dates without having to worry about work. I can go to band rehearsals instead of attending useless and sometimes repetitive seminars on Saturdays or even Sundays. I can take time off which I extremely rarely used back in my role as a teacher (I can count on my hand the times I was absent at school: two sick days in 2014, never from 2015 to 2019, two preventive quarantine days in 2020, and never in my last two school years. That's like 0.14%! Sorry for the numbers, but that is to emphasize the rarity.)
In my current position at an IT company, never in my imagination thought that I would use my miniscule knowledge about HTML to my work. We had two years of HTML-based computer class in my high school days. Not to brag, I was good at it, but I did not expect I would make a career out of it. I used some HTML to my Friendster account and to my blogs, and that's pretty much it; this is just to serve my hobbies.
However, it was bizarre that God used a combination of some already outdated HTML still stuck in my head and my Chinese language skills so that I can perform my work.
I was never a legitimate IT guy, but only by God's grace, I was given this job. Having this experience, it is like I passed through a portal, entering a new dimension.
WITH ALL THAT, I know that the road that I traveled on was paved with good intentions (quoting from the song "When She Cries").
These varying periods of "pagtitiis", of endurance, of making do, of waiting, and of having to switch careers, I shall see them all as "good." Numerous times I am telling myself that my life does not make sense. Yet, all is good. Up in Heaven, one of the questions I would ask the Lord is that what would I become if I were born with a golden spoon and with a TDH appearance, or what kind of ending shall I have if I chose to remain teaching. I believe He would show me scenarios that I may not like, for whatever He has not allowed to happen are for my protection and for my good.
I do not know what is to come, but I do know God's intentions are always good. I may not see it now or in the near future, but as long as I remain in Him, I should be in good hands.
Glory be to God!
MINI BLOG PLUG.
Got more time reading? You may want to explore more on this blog by reading these two about the author (Outer Layer and Inner Core), or by finding the all-time most popular posts at the bottom part of this page.
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STATEMENT ON AI USAGE.
I did not use AI in the making of this content. Everything on this post is 100% mine.
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