Quoting from Austin Mahone's single. Here's how it all started.
I built my walls up high,
but now they're falling and you're the reason why.
And with you, I'm not alone,
'cause you are the one I've waited for.
My quest for a relationship is like selling an insurance product: much effort has to be given and yet it does not always result in success. No. My quest for a relationship is much harder, years and years of trying and waiting, some came close but eventually none of them reached the stage I hoped for.
Four times, rejected. At times, dejected.
To be fair, it's not them. It's all me not being compatible with the four earlier girls.
Prior to meeting the fifth one, I was afraid to try again. It had been two years since the last attempt, I did not dare to climb the wall I built to kind of isolate myself. Though I was already in my late 20s, I still felt helplessly unqualified.
One evening of December 2022, I casually strolled through the special Christmas lights show at the Ayala Triangle Gardens. Not far from the entrance, my eyes feasted at the sights of colorful beams and flickers; entering the place is the moment I regretted doing the stroll. Most of what I saw are people in twos, standing or sitting beside each other, enjoying the same lights and sounds I was surrounded with.
Embarrassment. Disappointment. Envy. Not "Christmassy" at all.
Christmas Eve, I went to a friend's house for a church band practice as we were due to play for the Christmas worship service the next day. Just as I entered their home, my friend's sister who is also part of the Christmas worship team welcomed me with this: "Uy, may ipapakilala ako sa'yo." (Hey, I'm going to introduce someone to you.)
I pulled a joke saying that I came for practice and not for reto (reto is basically matchmaking by recommendation through a common friend). But she began to tell all the positive traits the would-be-recommended lady has: a God-fearing Christian, silent but insightful, not far from my age, wife material, among others. Only apprehension I had was, the lady is from Angono, province of Rizal, which is 25 kilometers from my residence, and is a town I had never been to. Nevertheless, my friend's sister gave the lady's Facebook account and expected me to start the chat real soon.
I initiated the Messenger chat with the lady, Sunshine from Angono (let's call her Shine from this point forward), telling her that I am a friend of her friend. I continued the chat during our breaks. My friends were shocked to learn I had now started to communicate with Shine that quick and were feeling excited about the entire reto prospect.
I said wait - the time is right;
I meet that someone that'll make me shine.
And right now, that time is come,
'cause you are the one I've waited for.
Enter 2023 and indeed, the wall came tumbling down.
The daily Messenger chats became our window to each other's thoughts and ideals. While I was being careful with the conversation so as not to offend Shine, because understandably, we do not know each other that well yet, I did not feel restrained in speaking my mind and just let the talk via the chat went as it was. Our conversation became more and more spontaneous, more natural.
Then we planned to meet for the very first time. Shine desired to have our first meeting in a church setting, therefore, it has to be on a Sunday. My January Sundays were mostly unavailable due to worship team engagements. There was one particular Sunday however, the 22nd of January, that I was not assigned to play bass.
That 22nd of January become our first date ever.
I took a motorcycle ride from Binondo to C5-Ortigas hoping to arrive early. I waited for her at the main lobby of CCF Center (CCF stands for Christ's Commission Fellowship, my home church right now). Peeple, I am not good at recognizing faces, so there was a time I thought I saw Shine when a lady resembling her entered. I needed a good look and almost stood up to check further, but my eyes verified that hey, it was not her yet.
The excitement grew stronger and stronger by the minute, with each minute felt like an hour at this point. Then a lady appeared from the far side of the lobby and seemed to be looking for someone so I stood up and went towards her. Yes, it was her, it was Shine!
I extended my hand as I present myself to her in person, then gave my gifts of flowers and boxes of Chinese delicacies (it was Chinese New Year too) to her. To have finally met, we were all smiles and it really felt like we were on cloud nine. At last, the person in the Messenger chat is now personified!
I guess you have waited too
to fall in love with someone that's true, yeah
So, tonight, don't let it go,
'cause you are the one I've waited for.
From that day forward, we became more intimate through our conversations. We shared huge details of our lives which include our aspirations, insecurities, past shots at relationships, and even our deep secrets we opened with each other. We became more vocal about our feelings, our admiration towards one another and it seemed we only lack the "formality" to put a label on this.
This detail I have to tell you, that in order for me to determine how willing she was to accept me into her life for who I am and where I come from, I shared with her the YouTube video of a short feature in an ABS-CBN public affairs program where it showed a bit of my life, my family, and where I actually live. I asked her to tell me what she thought of it after watching.
This was crucial because I'm freaking serious to have Shine in my life, so I need to reveal this to her. As I wait for her to finish watching and gather her thoughts, I was getting myself mentally prepared for both scenarios of acceptance and rejection: certainly I would need her acceptance as this will be a huge relief for me; a rejection would be low-key painful as this would, in the minimum, spare me from future pains. This is a true test of "continue or bust."
But thank the Lord, the video did not seem to affect my chances, I got what I need - she accepted me regardless! She even shared the video to her mom later on.
With this stage passed, I would now have to formally ask her parents for their blessing. (My mother is fine with me courting Shine by the way.) Prior to this, Shine and I were really excited to "seal the deal", but we acknowledged that it would be unpleasant to do this behind her parents' back. Now, Shine and her dad had had serious talk about this, and he was strong in his conviction that I should go to their house and meet them parents before making a decision on having a relationship. I told Shine that her dad is right and we have to obey his instructions as he, of course, has the parental authority.
19th of February was gloomy and the roads were wet due to on-and-off rains. I was already sweating at the beginning of my three-ride commute for Angono and the humidity exacerbated the sticky feeling on the skin. (Talking about donning a presentable impression, huh? We tried our best.) Thankfully, I had my sister April with me (bless her soul) to help with buying and carrying pasalubong (welcoming gifts) for Shine's parents. Now, I had to tag somebody along (my cell group leader volunteered but I decided to take April instead) not to help vouch but to signify sincerity with my intentions for Shine, with April acting like a witness to this occasion. (This would be the only time April met Shine's family. April passed six months later.)
At the dining table, her dad asked one question: "What is a Christian for you?" I answered that a Christian is someone who has acknowledged Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and has submitted to His will. I thought he's going to ask some qualification details like educational achievements, monthly salary, why Shine among other women... but surprisingly, that is the only question he gave.
Some hours later, I asked her dad if I could take Shine to be my girlfriend. He first suggested that we give each other more time to get to know one another better, but when I asked further, he then said it is up for Shine to decide.
/(0o0)\
Hold your horses. You might think, alright, since Shine likes you and you like Shine, then go Joe, do your thing! But her father's latest statement did not immediately result in #JoeAndShineFinallyMadeOfficial that same day.
It would be awkward if we were to make the decision right then and there. Well, Shine had to process her dad's statements that night. I was reassuring her while April and I were on our way back to Manila that her father's position is alright with me; it is normal for a father to be that strict, and I was not in any way against his decision. So, we waited for a few days to think and decide on our status.
Then on the night of February 25th, our second date beside the Araneta Coliseum in Cubao, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she unhesitatingly said yes.
 |
| Taken on our first anniversary, showing our promise rings |
with this love, this love, this love,
I've been searching so long for a feeling like this.
'cause you are the one I've waited for.
Girl, you are the I've waited for.
I was once a searchee who was starting to disqualify himself from getting a chance at romance. As I write this and was calling on Nostalgia to help remember, all I can say is amazing: it's been amazing how things got from just a simple reto to now having a relationship. Shine and I did not expect it will amazingly escalate this quick either.
We've been in our relationship for more than sixteen months as of posting. Just like all couples, we ran into several exciting episodes, and into arguments and disappointments as well. We are each other's first: admittedly we have limited experiences to deal with the kind of problems we sometimes face.
But because of how God molded Shine, when misunderstandings arise, she redirects me to always turn to God to find forgiveness and to reevaluate our thoughts in an effort to understand each other better. Aside from my mother, Shine is the other important woman in my life who shows and teaches me how to love.
And I am writing this blog post to honor Shine on her XXth birthday, a milestone in her life that I have the honor and privilege of celebrating with her.
Praise God for your life and for bringing you to me, love. + 70≤3 X0> 80 14><4!
NOTE: The song lyrics are from "The One I've Waited For" by Austin Mahone.
MINI BLOG PLUG.
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